I don’t know how to explain this. Okay, first I guess is our mother is controlling, manipulative, she mimics us like … like I guess, a little sister? You know, the ones that copy what your doing just because you are doing it? And it isn’t just activities, if we have an ache or something, suddenly she has it too, or if I eat something that makes my stomach nauseous, she will have a ‘bad tummy’ too (her words, not mine). There’s me, and my two younger sisters, and my father, but my dad says he loves our mom and he lets her do whatever she wants.

We have a big house, but we can’t use it. I mean, one room is full of stuff, my mom even has things that are unopened but she refuses to go through the boxes. We don’t really have rooms, but more like storage rooms with little halls to walk in. I recently “snapped”, I guess, and I threw out bags and bags of clothes that I was originally going to donate but there was literal poop inside some of the pants. I don’t know, I guess my mother just shoved them in there instead of washing them. Mom went nuts after she found out I got rid of stuff. She insists it is all sanitary. We have mice running around and pooping but my mom won’t let us get a cat because they are ‘dirty’ and will ‘get on the table’ (which we can’t use since it is covered with boxes of … things. I don’t know whats in them, no one does, but mom refuses to go through them).

Another issue I have is my mother royally messed up my sisters and my future by pulling us out of school when we were kids so we wouldn’t be “corrupted”by the outside world. She insisted she would teach us everything we needed to know, but she just played video games. She refused to let us visit other people – she says she hates people as they lie and only do things to get what they want. The only reason we know this is wrong is because she let us have the internet – she doesn’t know how to work it, so we can go anywhere in it. Everything we have learned we learned on the internet or on the TV.

But the thing is, we don’t know how to function in the real world. She kept us locked away on this acreage and only now my sister is working for an aunt. We have talked with family on both sides but no one wants to help us. Some won’t acknowledge it, others say that is just the way things are.

Our mother will pretend to help and listen to people, and I’ve seen and heard her do this to EVERYONE, she will turn around and shred them apart, if you aren’t aware of it, it even sounds like she is helping you. If you call her on it, she’ll get mean. Name calling is her biggest thing.

My younger sister is paying for the food and everything, but my mom goes out of her way to make my sis feel stupid and useless. When my sis went in for severe headaches, the doc said depression would cause the types she has, but our mother refused to let her answer and mom said there is no way my sis is depressed, that we have no signs of it.

All of us are depressed. We have not killed ourselves because we talk to each other. I had to convince my sister not to kill our mother. We can’t have friends because our mother chases them away. I almost had a boyfriend. I was 23, he was 22, and my mother chased him away by threatening to expose him as a pedophile.

I have tried to learn how to drive so that we could get into a town or a city or something, but my dad refuses to teach me to drive (I’m guessing my mother had something to do with it).

Also, sometimes, our mom seems like she is separate people. She says she does not remember things, or she knows things and then she doesn’t.

Our mom is very much into her own form of Christianity. She says our lives would be better if we simply prayed – like praying will clean the house, or get us jobs, or lives.

Another thing is she used to touch my chest a lot, and she tries it now sometimes, but I get violent with her now so she mostly stopped. I’ve been masturbating and suddenly aware she’s watching me. I tried having a lock on the door, but she figured out how to unlock it. I’m going to guess she does this with my sisters too.

Our mother hates doctors, police, our neighbors. Our neighbors used to invite us out but my mom kept saying no so they stopped years ago.

But what really gets me mad is social services visited twice while I was growing up but they did nothing to help.

Suggestions? Does anyone know of a support group? Can we go to a women’s shelter?

I’ve tried to get my high school diploma, but it had been impossible. I keep thinking if I can get an education I can get us out, but I’m just so confused and lost. I want a life. I want my sisters to have lives. So anything will be helpful. I’ve tried a doctor but my mother insisted on being in the room so I couldn’t get help that way.

Thank you.
I have no means of moving out. I cannot drive and my education goes up to grade five. I live on an acreage. It takes half an hour to drive to town. The internet has been my teacher, and I know a bit about everything but not enough to do anything.